in one's right mind.

had a very interesting weekend, i must say. christmas for my family is very... ordinary to say the least. there is no christmas tree, there is no knee-high running relatives, nor is there any signs of the holiday seasons in our house. and no, not many presents, either. however, my entire family (grandparents and all) do share one tradition that we hold each christmas.

instead of buying presents for everyone, or tickets to travel around, we give the money that would have been spent and give it to someone in the family. we do it each year, and it's always someone different; this year, it was "our" families turn. now before you let your mind go wild, it's never spent. rather, it's "given." each time it goes around, someone in family goes out into the community and finds someone in need.

a widowed mother who lost their son in the war; a young mother barely making rent and without health care caring for her child diagnosed with wilson's disease. a divorced man fighting cancer. last time it was our families turn, my father was in iraq and gave varrious amounts to iraqi families in the area. who ever it may be, it's our gift to those who might not be having the "typical christmas."

however, this time around, my parents told me i would get to choose who we would give the money to. my father handed me an envelope with $3,450 dollars, cash. we did some research and stopped by the battered woman's support group in another city and asked one of the volunteers there if they knew anyone in particular who could use some help - they said there was a woman who left everything she knew in fear of her husband and ran away to arizona. they said they couldn't give out her name, but said we were welcome to "come back" again and maybe "run into" her.

that day came yesterday. she was a woman in her late 20s, and working at a local motel. we asked her for a moment of her time and if we could talk outside; she seemed scared as i remember. after telling her our family "tradition," and that it was my turn, i pulled the envelope out of my pocket and gave it to her. i asked her not to tell me more than what she already did. it never goes past first names. my father told her there were no strings attached, and this would be the only time we would ever see each other. she cried, thanked us, and we walked back to our car and drove off back home. her name was beth.

even though i never get as many presents as my friends do each christmas, i am happy that the money that could have been spent on fruitless things for each other, was given to someone who may have needed that little break in life.

and hey, who doesn't want a break one time or another? that leads me to my second "point" to this post, and that i realized the blogs out there did more for me than i thought. i caught myself reading in other lives just like mine, and no matter how alone i felt, i knew there were others out there like bob willing to give a helping hand. i guess you could say blogging in some ways, is a small break from the lie many of us live.

sincerely,
j.